Have you ever stopped to think about the happiest day of your life? At least so far, that is. Or do you imagine the happiest day of your life is ahead of you? Dan McAdams, whose work in studying life stories has been mentioned in this blog before, describes certain archetypal or characteristic patterns to people's versions of their life story. Some describe their lives as rising from adversity, while others mention bad breaks that sent them into an unexpected crash landing from which they have never quite seemed to recover.
But here we recall the events that mark the peaks or represent the peaks we hope to achieve. What makes a "happiest day" experience? Is it personal accomplishment after a long, sustained effort? Or is it the promise of a new relationship? Does a happiest moment represent a capstone of previous experiences, or the beginning of a new journey?
For most of us, there have been many happy days, and we hope there will be many more. Perhaps what creates happiness at the beginning of our lives is different than the causes of those joyous moments in midlife, or as we mature in later years.
What are your thoughts about the events, or doings, that have characterized your memorable moments? Please share them here! The hope is, of course, that by understanding our own happiest moments, we can create the conditions to make them happen again! We can create the lives we want.
Showing posts with label Dan McAdams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dan McAdams. Show all posts
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Fyodor Who? on Activity and Happiness
Those avid readers among us will no doubt be able to quickly note that the title to this post refers to Russian author Fyodor Dostoyevski. Dostoyevski is among the most famous authors in history, and lived from 1821-1881. During his sixty year lifespan he wrote two fiction classics that are included on most great books lists, including The Brothers Karamozov and Crime and Punishment. In addition to being a great writer, Dostoyevski is sometimes credited as being one of the originators of the philosophy of existentialism.
So what does Dostoyevski have to do with this blogsite? Well, because doing is so important to our happiness and well being, those who love to read (and read and read) will certainly enjoy the works of Dostoyevski. But he appears in this blog not for that reason, but because he wrote an interesting passage about activity and happiness in a book of occasional writings. The excerpt is as follows:
"Our passion for some sort of activity reaches a point of feverish and uncontrollable impatience; we all long for some serious occupation, many of us are full of an ardent desire to do good, to be of some use, and we gradually begin to realize that happiness is not the same thing as being able to afford to sit about twiddling one's thumbs or just to do something for the sake of a change when the occasion arises, but consists of continual and tireless activity and the development of all faculties and capabilities in practice."
This observation by Dostoyevski is blogworthy here because it makes some interesting observations about activity and happiness. Reading along and between the lines, one might claim the following existential interpretation:
We serve our well-being best when we make choices about what we do that are consistent with our values and sense of self, and when those activities help us grow and become more competent. Indeed, it might be said that we create ourselves (our identities) through doing activities that are genuine, that allow us to express the joy of being and our uniqueness through creating or producing something that expresses some purpose or has meaning. Dan McAdams, whose studies of people's stories has been mentioned in other blogs and whose work is listed on this blogsite, coined the expression "selfing" to refer to this type of activity that serves self expression and beingness.
Think about what you do, and how many of those activities are done because of others, and how many were initiated with careful thought by you, the doer, to challenge and engage yourself, to help you realize your unique potential, and to truly make you feel "alive". Those kinds of activity choices are among the most important decisions we make.
What are you doing among your regular activities currently that makes you feel authentic? That may be a hard question to answer, but if you care to give it a try, please share it with others on this blogsite. And if you've a mind to, visit the wdydwyd? website to get a taste of how others express their authenticity.
As always, if you have a different perspective or a comment to add about anything written here, by all means, do it! Please share it here and now.
So what does Dostoyevski have to do with this blogsite? Well, because doing is so important to our happiness and well being, those who love to read (and read and read) will certainly enjoy the works of Dostoyevski. But he appears in this blog not for that reason, but because he wrote an interesting passage about activity and happiness in a book of occasional writings. The excerpt is as follows:
"Our passion for some sort of activity reaches a point of feverish and uncontrollable impatience; we all long for some serious occupation, many of us are full of an ardent desire to do good, to be of some use, and we gradually begin to realize that happiness is not the same thing as being able to afford to sit about twiddling one's thumbs or just to do something for the sake of a change when the occasion arises, but consists of continual and tireless activity and the development of all faculties and capabilities in practice."
This observation by Dostoyevski is blogworthy here because it makes some interesting observations about activity and happiness. Reading along and between the lines, one might claim the following existential interpretation:
We serve our well-being best when we make choices about what we do that are consistent with our values and sense of self, and when those activities help us grow and become more competent. Indeed, it might be said that we create ourselves (our identities) through doing activities that are genuine, that allow us to express the joy of being and our uniqueness through creating or producing something that expresses some purpose or has meaning. Dan McAdams, whose studies of people's stories has been mentioned in other blogs and whose work is listed on this blogsite, coined the expression "selfing" to refer to this type of activity that serves self expression and beingness.
Think about what you do, and how many of those activities are done because of others, and how many were initiated with careful thought by you, the doer, to challenge and engage yourself, to help you realize your unique potential, and to truly make you feel "alive". Those kinds of activity choices are among the most important decisions we make.
What are you doing among your regular activities currently that makes you feel authentic? That may be a hard question to answer, but if you care to give it a try, please share it with others on this blogsite. And if you've a mind to, visit the wdydwyd? website to get a taste of how others express their authenticity.
As always, if you have a different perspective or a comment to add about anything written here, by all means, do it! Please share it here and now.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Holidays as Markers in Life Stories
Before there were calendars and clocks, people depended on nature (night and day, the seasons) and their internal biological rhythms to keep track of passing time. In those eras, the experience of living was based largely on the routines of daily life marked by significant events and activities that were extraordinary. It is safe to say that in simpler times, extraordinary events were less frequent. Now, of course, it seems that extraordinary events occur frequently around us, but the extent to which they have personal meaning, or shape our lives, depends on our circumstances.
Although we now have clocks and calendars, it is true that people typically understand their lives in terms of an unfolding story. Social scientists call these stories "narratives", observing that people need a "storyline" that that makes sense to them and through which they can assign meaning to the events that happen to them. Dan McAdams, a psychologist at Northwestern University in Chicago, has dedicated his professional work toward studying life stories. His research reveals there are common "story plots" and that successful or unsuccessful experiences and key events that alter customary routines serve as ways to differentiate chapters. Indeed, the very meaning assigned to events may be influenced by the storyline one has chosen to use to make sense of his or her life.
Aside from significant events that provide chapter markers in lives, holidays in different cultures also create "place markers' to enable people to create meaning. It is not accidental that these occasions invite special memories because of their association with spiritual observances. Because people celebrate holidays with others, the meanings are especially rich with emotion. Emotional experiences are more likely to be memorable.
Most people anticipate holidays because of the pleasant memories they have of past experiences. Others may have difficulty participating in holidays precisely because their life stories have changed and the memories of the way things were are now painful because they are seen as losses. The term "holiday blues" has been coined for such conditions. It is of interest that the professional advice given for such conditions involves "what to do and not do."
What do you do over the holidays? and what events are especially meaningful for you? I invite you to share your stories of events that "changed your life" or why the holiday season is significant to you because of traditions you've grown to love.
Although we now have clocks and calendars, it is true that people typically understand their lives in terms of an unfolding story. Social scientists call these stories "narratives", observing that people need a "storyline" that that makes sense to them and through which they can assign meaning to the events that happen to them. Dan McAdams, a psychologist at Northwestern University in Chicago, has dedicated his professional work toward studying life stories. His research reveals there are common "story plots" and that successful or unsuccessful experiences and key events that alter customary routines serve as ways to differentiate chapters. Indeed, the very meaning assigned to events may be influenced by the storyline one has chosen to use to make sense of his or her life.
Aside from significant events that provide chapter markers in lives, holidays in different cultures also create "place markers' to enable people to create meaning. It is not accidental that these occasions invite special memories because of their association with spiritual observances. Because people celebrate holidays with others, the meanings are especially rich with emotion. Emotional experiences are more likely to be memorable.
Most people anticipate holidays because of the pleasant memories they have of past experiences. Others may have difficulty participating in holidays precisely because their life stories have changed and the memories of the way things were are now painful because they are seen as losses. The term "holiday blues" has been coined for such conditions. It is of interest that the professional advice given for such conditions involves "what to do and not do."
What do you do over the holidays? and what events are especially meaningful for you? I invite you to share your stories of events that "changed your life" or why the holiday season is significant to you because of traditions you've grown to love.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)